"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose... it's how drunk you get."- Homer Simpson
"Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?"- Homer Simpson
"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. "- Homer Simpson
"It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day."- Homer Simpson
" When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie -- Spaceballs. But instead it was dark and disturbing. Like that movie -- Police Academy."- Homer Simpson
" I will not barf unless I'm sick"- Bart Simpson
" I will not conduct my own fire drills"- Bart Simpson
" I did not see Elvis"- Bart Simpson
" I will not encourage others to fly"- Bart Simpson
" I will not Xerox my butt"- Bart Simpson
"I will not get very far with this attitude"- Bart Simpson
"Sorry, you have the wrong number. This is 9-1-2."- Chief Wiggum
"Oh my God! Someone took a bite from the giant rice crispy square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutaly beaten."- Chief Wiggum
"Oh! Isn't that cute, a baby driving a car! Oh and look a dog driving a bus. "- Chief Wiggum
" I noticed your tail light was blinking when you made that left turn."- Chief Wiggum
"Continue swimming naked...c'mon...continue!....OK Lou open fire."- Chief Wiggum
" People now... Please, please, I can assure you that we'll be using the most advanced, scientific techniques in the field of... body finding."- Chief Wiggum
" Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city. He is the cancer and I am the... uh... what cures cancer?"- Chief Wiggum
"Ok folks, back away nothin to see here... Oh my god a horrible plane wreck! Hey everybody crowd around, come on don't be shy crowd around."- Chief Wiggum
"Mankind has always dreamed of destroying the sun."- Mr.Burns
" Fill it up with petroleum distillate, and re-vulcanize my tires, post-haste!"- Mr.Burns
"We must crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season. And a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colenol Montoya.... In that I mean, it's time for the worker of the week award."- Mr.Burns
"What are you doing tonight Smithers? Something gay no doubt? "- Mr.Burns
"Oooh, so Mother Nature needs a favor?! Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys! Nature started the fight for survival, and now she wants to quit because she's losing. Well I say, hard cheese."- Mr.Burns
" And the Lord said "Whack ye the snakes and it will be good forever, Amen." So you see Lisa, even God endorses Whacking Day."- Reverend Lovejoy
" Let me see that."- Lisa Simpson
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